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Alice in Wonderland Panto Script, Ben Crocker Pantomimes

​ALICE IN WONDERLAND PANTOMIME SCRIPT

Fast moving and very funny. This Alice in Wonderland script defines the idea of modern traditional pantomime. With over twenty speaking roles, Alice in Wonderland provides wonderful opportunities for the whole company to get their teeth into – and lots of rabbits!

18 Characters, plus 5 Children’s Cameo Roles, plus Chorus Etc.

​Run time approx: 2 hours plus interval

ALICE IN WONDERLAND PANTO SCRIPT EXCERPT

In the Royal Kitchen the RIGHT ROYAL RED QUEEN (Dame) is teaching ALICE how to make tarts – the Wonderland way…   

QUEEN:

Right. Now, let’s get back to the plot and get baking! Alice and Harry, can you reach under the table and get out the flour, the jam and the cream!

 

(They do so.)

 

That’s right… Plenty of cream. Maybe even another bowl.

ALICE:

QUEEN:

HARRY:

QUEEN:

ALICE:

Cream in tarts?

No, dear. We don't use cream in tarts. In fact, we don't use any of this. We use tarts.

​Tarts?

Absolutely. That way everything you need for a tart is measured out accurately and in a tart like fashion. And then I just need my special tart making bag…

 

(FLAMINGO puppet pops up with bag in its ‘beak’.)

 

You, see? This is where a flamingo is so useful. Thank you, dear.

 

(The QUEEN takes bag. The FLAMINGO remains watching.)

 

And then I put the tarts in this bag and use the flamingo as a sort of mallet to break them all up.

​

(Indignant duck whistle and the FLAMINGO disappears.)

 

Oy, come back!

 

(FLAMINGO pops up, shakes head and disappears.)

Isn’t it a bit cruel to use the flamingo as a mallet?

 

(FLAMINGO reappears, nods assertively and disappears.)

QUEEN:

How do you mean?

HARRY:

Well, would you like to be used as a mallet?

QUEEN:

Me used as a mallet?

HARRY:

Yes.

QUEEN:

Look, maybe I need to make one thing clear.

ALICE:

What’s that?

QUEEN:

No flamingos have been - or will be harmed during the making of this show.

ALICE:

QUEEN:

But how can you be sure?

(confiding) Because it’s not actually a real flamingo. It’s a puppet.

 

(FLAMINGO appears with an enraged duck whistle sound.)

ALICE:

QUEEN:

Oh, dear. You’ve upset it now.

I just said it was a puppet!

 

(With duck whistle sobs, the FLAMINGO starts to crumple.)

ALICE:

HARRY:

QUEEN:

It’s crying!

It doesn’t think of itself as a puppet!

Alright! Alright! Alright! (To FLAMINGO.) Look – do you want to help me make the tarts?

 

(FLAMINGO nods and slowly disappears.)

 

Honestly, never work with children or flamingos!

​

(FLAMINGO reappears with a small mallet in its ‘beak’.)

ALICE:

HARRY:

QUEEN:

Look it’s come back with a mallet for you!

It’s being helpful.

​Alright, ok, it isn’t the Wonderland way, but we’ll use it. (Takes mallet and manically beats tarts in bag and then stops.) Although, if I was a flamingo, I’d be perfectly happy to be used as a mallet... (Continues manically beating tarts in bag.) Thank you. (Returns mallet to FLAMINGO who disappears.)

HARRY:

QUEEN:

Why do you beat them to pieces?

So that all the King’s horses and all the King’s men can put them together again! I’d have thought that was obvious. Now, Harry, be a dear and take this to the King, would you – and if he’s having a nap just give him a nudge because I want these tarts pronto!

                     

(HARRY exits with bag.)

ALICE:

QUEEN:

ALICE:

QUEEN:

ALICE:

So, why do we need the jam and the cream and everything?

Oh, that’s for Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

Why?

Because they always have a battle. There’s no way round it.

How very curious. What’s this? (Picks up small bottle.) It says, ‘Drink me’! (Starts to take a sip.)

QUEEN:

ALICE:

No, Alice –

It’s sort of cherry tart flavour, with custard, pineapple, roast turkey, and hot buttered toast!

QUEEN:

​Oh, dear! I do wish our guests wouldn’t drink from the drink me bottles!

ALICE:

QUEEN:

I’m starting to feel a bit peculiar.

I expect you are! (Calling.) Tweedledee! Tweedledum!

ALICE IN WONDERLAND CHARACTERS

  • The White Rabbit: Anxious About Time

  • Bandersnatch The Wrong Rabbit: A Very Bad Rabbit

  • Tweedledee: Royal Page

  • Tweedledum: Royal Page

  • The Right Royal Red Queen: Warm Hearted Dame

  • The Right Royal Red King: Very Sleepy!

  • Gordon: Very Bad but Endearing Wrong Rabbit

  • Nibbles: Very Bad but Endearing Wrong Rabbit

  • Maureen: Very Bad but Endearing Wrong Rabbit

  • Rodney: Very Bad but Endearing Wrong Rabbit

  • Harry: Principal Boy

  • Alice: Principal Girl

  • The Wrong Royal Red Queen: The Villain of the Piece

  • Mrs Wrong Rabbit: Cosy but Creepy.

  • Tiger Lily: Live Flower (Child)

  • Daisy: Live Flower (Child)

  • Basil: Live Flower (Child)

  • Lionel: Live Flower (Child)

  • Rose: Live Flower (Child)

  • Cheshire Cat: (Scene 4 Only)

  • The Mad Hatter: Madcap Inventor

  • March Hare: Just Mad

  • Dormouse: Even Sleepier than the King…

  • Jabberwocky: Silent Role for a Child

  • Chorus as Wonderlanders (Playing Card Characters, Animals Etc) Additional Wrong Rabbits, Rabbit Ghosts Etc.

Alice in Wonderland Panto Script, Ben Crocker Pantomimes

Alice in Wonderland photos by Ger Foy.

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The reading copy is for review only and possession does not convey any rights for performance. A licence must be obtained prior to the start of rehearsals and the appropriate royalty paid before any public or private performance. No scripts should be reproduced either in whole or in part without written permission to do so.

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“We have used Ben Crocker scripts at Llandrindod Wells Theatre Company for the past two years, we have decided that we are DEFINITELY going to use another this year! What more can I say? Full houses, howls of laughter from the youngest in the audience to the oldest, and the cast thoroughly enjoying themselves playing out the modern style parts. As a producer, it is a great relief to set out with a script that I know will work well in front of a live audience.”

Phillip Evans, Llandrindod Wells Theatre Company

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