“Perfect, Proper Panto” - The Times
ROBIN HOOD PANTOMIME SCRIPT
A cracking panto script. Some great principal roles – and Robin Hood's gang of Outlaws provides an excellent opportunity to use the Chorus in exciting ways - as does the traditional, whacky school room scene. Huge fun for both the audience and the cast!
10 Characters (inc 2 Babes) plus Chorus Etc.
Run time approx: 2 hours plus interval.
ROBIN HOOD PANTO SCRIPT EXCERPT
In order to catch the Babes, the wicked Sherrif and his henchman, Dennis have come to the village school run by Winnie Widebottom, the Dame. They are dressed as sweet little schoolgirls and wear belts with assorted weaponry…
WINNIE:
SHERIFF:
DENNIS:
WINNIE:
SHERIFF:
WINNIE:
TUCK:
WINNIE:
Oh, hello. Who are you?
(in a girlish voice) I’m Sherry and this is my friend Denny…
(in an equally girlish voice) And we’re girls.
Of course you are, dear. Do I know you from somewhere?
(truculently) What’s it to you?
I beg your pardon?
They’re very big girls, Miss!
And you’re a very big boy, Tuck, but we won’t worry ourselves about that.
DENNIS:
SHERIFF:
WINNIE:
We’re new girls, Miss.
Yes, we’re new. We’ve never even been to Nottingham before!
Well - you’d better go and sit down with the other children.
BOTH:
WINNIE:
SHERIFF:
WINNIE:
SHERIFF:
DENNIS:
WINNIE:
SHERIFF:
WINNIE:
SHERIFF:
WINNIE:
SHERIFF:
WINNIE:
SHERIFF:
WINNIE:
TUCK:
JOAN:
WINNIE:
SHERIFF:
SHERIFF:
DENNIS:
WINNIE:
SHERIFF:
WINNIE:
SHERIFF:
WINNIE:
SHERIFF:
WINNIE:
DENNIS:
WINNIE:
DENNIS:
Yes, Miss. (They go to sit down.)
Just one moment –
(irritably) What is it now? (Recovering.) I mean – Yes, Miss?
(indicating weapons) Where did you get those?
Eh?
Our Mums gave them to us, Miss.
Some mothers these days… I’m going to have to confiscate them. No one needs a machete in class.
But, Miss –
Or a pump action shot gun. You can have them back at the end of term. Now, come on, hand them over.
But - oh, very well. (They hand over their weapons.)
Thank you. Now, go and sit down the pair of you and we’ll continue…
(THE SHERIFF and DENNIS go to sit with the BABES. They push along the bench so that the two CHORUS on the downstage end are pushed off onto the floor.)
Hang on, hang on. You can’t just barge along like that –
But we want to sit next to Tilly and Tommy!
(indicating trick bench) Sit at the front where I can see you.
(DENNIS moves, but the SHERIFF folds his arms and stays put.)
Shan’t!
Sherry, do as you’re told, this instant! I won’t tolerate talking back like that. Any more nonsense and I shall be forced to punish you!
(The rest of the class start whispering excitedly.)
She’ll give you a whack!
Really hard!
Now, go and sit down with Denny.
It wasn’t my fault!
Oh, very well!
(The SHERIFF goes and sits grumpily on the trick end of the bench.)
Right now. History – who knows where Magna Carta was signed?
(DENNIS leaps up with his hand in the air. The SHERIFF falls off the end of the bench.)
Oof!
At the bottom, Miss!
Correct! Sherry what are you doing playing about on the floor?
Sherry, I’ve already warned you once before.
But Miss –
Not another word. Sit down and behave yourself properly.
(sitting) It isn’t fair!
Life isn’t fair. Now, who can tell me who invented King Arthur’s round table?
Please, Miss!
Yes, Denny?
(leaping up) Sir Cumference!
(The SHERIFF is again deposited on the floor.)
WINNIE:
SHERIFF:
WINNIE:
Correct! Sherry, get up this moment!
But it wasn’t my fault!
Don’t make it worse by arguing. This is your final warning. Any more nonsense and I shall give you a smack! Sit down and be a good girl like Denny.
SHERIFF:
WINNIE:
But –
Sit down!
(Scowling furiously, the SHERIFF sits.)
Good. Hopefully your Chemistry will be better than your History… Now, listen carefully, if H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
DENNIS:
WINNIE:
DENNIS:
WINNIE:
(shoots up hand) Please, Miss, I know it, I know it!
Yes, Denny, what is it?
H2O cubed!
Three out of three, Denny! Stand up and take a bow.
(DENNIS stands up and again, the SHERIFF lands on the floor.)
Sherry, you are the naughtiest girl in Nottingham! Now, come here and hold your hand out!
SHERIFF:
WINNIE:
But Miss –
(whacking desk furiously with a slapstick) I said come here! (Ominously.) Or I shall exclude you…
ROBIN HOOD AND THE BABES IN THE WOOD CHARACTERS
-
Alan-a-Dale (A good singer. Great if he can strum a chord or two on the guitar, but not essential - just cut the guitar references.)
-
Rabbit 1 (A talking glove puppet)
-
Rabbit 2 (Another talking glove puppet)
-
Robin Hood (Dashing principal boy)
-
Friar Tuck (Relaxed, comedic and good hearted)
-
Little Joan (The daughter of little John. Very feisty – doesn’t need to be cast particularly small)
-
Maid Marion (The principal girl. Also pretty feisty)
-
Winnie Widebottom (Marion’s former nanny and the village schoolteacher. Our warm hearted dame)
-
Sheriff of Nottingham (The wicked villain)
-
Dennis (The Sheriff’s Tax Collector. Emotional, easily upset)
-
Tilly (The Sheriff’s Niece)
-
Tommy (The Sheriff’s Nephew)
-
Chorus as Outlaws, Schoolchildren, Guards, Citizens and Fair Stall holders etc.
REQUEST YOUR FREE READING COPY
Please note this offer is only available to individuals representing Societies, Theatres or Groups.