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ALI BABA SCRIPT EXCERPT |
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Sheikh Mustafa Leikh and his band of thieves have arrived outside the magic cave. Ali Baba has heard their approach and is hiding.... |
| ALI. |
(looking into opposite wing) There’s loads of them! Who are all these people?” |
| MUSTAFA. |
(entering) Wait there, you forty thieves! |
| ALI. |
Forty thieves? |
| MUSTAFA. |
(Looking in pocket mirror.) Still gorgeous after four hours in the saddle! You dog - Mustafa Leikh!
(YESSAH and NOSSAH nervously try to get MUSTAFA'S attention.) |
| MUSTAFA. |
Yessah and Nossah! |
| YESSAH & NOSSAH.
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Yes, sir? |
| MUSTAFA. |
Stop cringing like nervous schoolboys and tell me what you
want. What is it, Yessah?
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| YESSAH. |
It's thirty five, sir. |
| MUSTAFA. |
Thirty five what? |
| NOSSAH. |
Thieves, sir. |
| MUSTAFA. |
Thirty five thieves, Nossah? |
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| NOSSAH. |
Yessir. |
| YESSAH. |
What? |
| MUSTAFA. |
Stop interrupting, Yessah. |
| YESSAH. |
Yessir. |
| MUSTAFA. |
Is there an echo here? |
| YESSAH. |
No sir. |
| NOSSAH. |
Yes? |
| MUSTAFA. |
Yes, what? |
| NOSSAH. |
Yes, sir! |
| YESSAH. |
What? |
| MUSTAFA. |
Are you trying to be funny, Yessah? |
| YESSAH. |
No, sir! |
| NOSSAH. |
Yes? |
| MUSTAFA. |
Silence!! Now, Yessah, in plain and simple Arabian tell me what it is you want to say. |
| YESSAH. |
There aren't no longer forty, sir, because you executed Habib, Hakim, Halim and Hashim for misdemeanours along the way, sir. |
| MUSTAFA. |
Misdemeanours? |
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| YESSAH. |
Smoking, talking out of line, and looking the wrong way, sir. |
| MUSTAFA. |
And what about Hashim? |
| YESSAH. |
You just didn't like him, sir. |
| MUSTAFA. |
Well, that's four of them, what about the fifth? |
| NOSSAH. |
Mebbesah. |
| MUSTAFA. |
Maybe what? |
| NOSSAH. |
That was his name, sir. Mebbesah, sir. |
| MUSTAFA. |
Mebbesah-sir? |
| NOSSAH. |
No, not Mebbesah-sir, sir. Mebbesah. |
| YESSAH. |
The lads used to call him Stinker, sir |
| MUSTAFA. |
Oh, him! |
| NOSSAH. |
Yes, sir. |
| YESSAH. |
What? |
| MUSTAFA. |
Shut up! Now, go and tell the others, that if they don't want to end up like Stinker, they'd better cover their ears whilst I say the magic words to open the cave. |
| YESSAH. |
Yessir! Covered ears it is, sir. Nossah! |
| NOSSAH. |
Yes, Yessah? |
| YESSAH. |
Come with me. (They exit.) |
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| MUSTAFA. |
(noticing Audience) Just a moment - you’re listening. I want all of you to cover your ears so you can’t hear me. Otherwise, you’ll all end up like Stinker! Right, now can you all not hear me? I said, can you all not hear me? Good; then I shall say the magic words. “Open Sesame!”
(FX. The sound of a huge rock moving.)
Right men. Follow me and bring all your stolen treasure into the cave! (Starts to go and then stops.) I said, follow me! (Crosses to wing where the thieves are and exits. We hear yelling off.) Take your stupid fat fingers out of your ears and follow me!
(MUSIC.) |
| ALL. |
They were a truly vicious looking bunch. Some of them had beards...
(MUSTAFA crosses. He is followed by YESSAH, NOSSAH and the CHORUS as thieves, all with beards and laden with treasure. They exit.)
And some just had moustaches...
(YESSAH, NOSSAH and the CHORUS reappear back the other side with moustaches. They cross and exit.)
And some were clean shaven.
(Repeat clean shaven.)
And some of them walked backwards.
(Repeat backwards.)
And some I didn't see too clearly because I was hiding. Anyway, there were thirty five. And they all went in with their treasure and then they all came out again and went back to their horses. And finally the Chief came out.
(MUSTAFA re-enters.) |
| MUSTAFA. |
Right everybody. I don’t want anyone listening to a word I say. Everybody ready? Now don't listen to this because it’s not at all important. “Close Sesame!” |
NB. Feel free to change gender where necessary. (Nossah works very well when played by a female actor.)
Mum’s friends are hilarious when some men in drag are involved in the mix.
