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Jack & the beanstalk Panto Script, Ben Crocker Pantomimes

JACK & THE BEANSTALK PANTOMIME SCRIPT

In Jack & the Beanstalk a sparky principal boy and girl comes together with a raft of refreshingly novel takes on established comedic routines guarantee that your audience will love this show. There is a very funny giant, lots of work for the Chorus and the dancing tree moment could be straight out of Morecambe and Wise!

9 Characters, plus 2 person Cow, plus 4 Children’s Cameo Roles, plus Chorus Etc.

Run time approx: 2 hours plus interval.

JACK AND THE BEANSTALK PANTO SCRIPT EXCERPT

Dame Trot, Simple Simon and the King are running away from the Giant. Unfortunately, they’ve reckoned without the Cockroach Guards (usually played by children).

KING:

DAME:

SIMON:

SARGE:

DAME:

COCKR'S

DAME:

COCKR'S:

DAME:

SARGE:

DAME:

COCKR'S:

SARGE:

SMITH:

SARGE:

SARGE:

SMITH:

SARGE:

SMITH:

(very breathless) That’s far enough, I can’t run any further.

I think we’ve lost him.

It’s very creepy here though.

(on mic - offstage) Intruder patrol!

What’s that?

(Singing off) We don’t care that we’re not tall

Cos Way-Up-High we’re havin’ a ball!

Freeze!

 

(They ALL freeze in unlikely positions. A group of several COCKROACHES enter marching.)

(Singing) Feeee, Fiiiii, fo and fum

Anyone sees us they’re gonna run!

Go to your left, your right, your left

Go to your left, your right, your left – hey!

 

(COCKOACHES exit marching - the four on stage relax.)

Phew! That was close.

(off) All clear!

They’re coming back!

 

(The COCKROACHES march back on stage, as the four re-freeze in even more unlikely positions.)

 

If we find you, better watch out

You’ll get eaten, aint no doubt!

Feeee, Fiiiii, fo and fum

Anyone sees us they’re gonna run!

HALT!!!

 

(The COCKROACHES halt to attention.)

 

Stand easy.

 

(COCKROACH SMITH raises his hand.)

 

What is it Cockroach Smith?

Permission to smoke, Sarge?

Permission denied.

(whining) Oh, Sarge.

You should know better, Cockroach Smith!

(crestfallen) Sorry, Sarge.

 

(COCKROACH JONES raises his hand.)

​

Yes, Cockroach Chetwyn-Douglas-Scott?

C-D-S:

Can we all have a marshmallow, Sarge?

SARGE:

Good idea, Cockroach Chetwyn-Douglas-Scott. Let’s all have a marshmallow.

 

(They all take out their marshmallows and eat contentedly for a moment.)

 

Right. Everyone finished?

 

(They all nod, swallowing hastily.)

 

Good. Now, there may be other intruders about, so we need to look vicious, horrible and nasty. So, let me see it in your faces!

 

(COCKROACHES pull vicious faces.)

 

And in your attitudes!

 

(COCKROACHES maintain faces and assume threatening attitudes.)

 

And in your blood curdling sounds of warlike doom!

 

(COCKROACHES all blow a loud raspberry.)

 

Excellent! I’m proud to serve with you. We’ll set out on patrol again – and if any of you see the castle ghost, blow him one of those!

 

(COCKROACHES all blow another raspberry.)

 

Massive. (Cadence calling) We don’t care that we’re not tall!

COCKR'S:

(marching off) Cos Way-Up-High we’re havin’ a ball!

Feeee, Fiiiii, fo and fum

Anyone sees us they’re gonna run!

Go to your left, your right, your left,

Go to your left, your right, your left – hey!

DAME:

Phew - they didn’t see us!

KING:

Luckily, we’re expert at concealment.

SIMON:

Yes, but what about that castle ghost? I don’t like ghosts!

JACK AND THE BEANSTALK

CHARACTERS

  • Edena the Eco Fairy (A homespun, country girl. Any age, rural accent)

  • Slimeball (The Giant’s henchman. There is something slightly spiv like about him)

  • Jack Trot (Principal Boy)

  • Princess Demelza (Principal Girl)

  • King Bertram (Officious, pompous, more confident in his abilities than he has a right to be)

  • Flunkit (The Royal Flunky. Well meaning)

  • Dame Trot (Warm hearted, rumbustious dame)

  • Simple Simon (Dame Trot’s cowman. Lovable and slightly vulnerable)

  • Daisy the Cow (Full of bovine mischief)

  • Giant Blunderbore (Genuinely believes himself in love with Demelza – but lacks a moral compass!)

  • Chorus as Villagers, Fairies, Cockroaches *, Ghosts Etc.

​

​* I have specified cockroaches, but feel free to change to evil goblins, zombies etc etc. Whatever you fancy costuming!

Jack & the beanstalk Panto Script, Ben Crocker Pantomimes

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“We have had some amazing performances so far – with a few standing ovations! Audience thoroughly enjoying things. Thank you! Had such good feedback from audiences about Jack – you write in such a pacey way – and the audiences love that. Also, the music choices worked really well – everyone and I mean – EVERYONE – only had good things to say about it!”

Sharon Rother, Director of Jack and the Beanstalk, Port Elizabeth Musical and Dramatic Society, South Africa

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