Camelot The Panto Excerpt

PROLOGUE

Show cloth or curtains.

(PYRO. MORGAN LE FAY enters L.)

MORGAN.

How lovely it is for you all to see me! (Acknowledges boos etc.) Thank you, thank you... Enough! I am Morgan le Fay. Queen of the Night, Ruler of the Forest and black hearted Sorceress without compare!

(VALERIN also enters L, rather taking the wind out of MORGAN'S sails.)

VALERIN.

And I am Valerin, the Vicious! King of the Tangled Wood, evil beyond belief - and also very bad!

MUM.

(entering L) And I'm his Mum.

VALERIN.

Mum!

MUM.

And I'm a bit naughty.

VALERIN.

What are you doing here?

MUM.

(proffering it) You forgot your scarf.

MORGAN.

Silence! As you know, today is the day when Guinevere arrives in Camelot, to marry Prince Arthur!

VALERIN.

It should've been me!

MORGAN.

It will be you!

MUM.

See? Listen to the Lady.

MORGAN.

Thank you. Now, here, as I promised, is the lost marriage pledge. Signed by Guinevere's father, King Leo, and proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that her hand in marriage - (Hands over a rolled parchment, which VALERIN and MUM open eagerly.) was promised to you on the day she was born!

MUM.

It's a blank sheet of paper!

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MORGAN.

Look again!

(MORGAN gestures. Magical MUSIC sting. VALERIN “sees” the writing.)

VALERIN.

Wow! Look, Mum, it's all there!

MORGAN.

(aside to AUDIENCE) It's a magical forgery, of course - but Guinevere must never marry Arthur, for if she does, Camelot's future is secure - and I hate Camelot!

VALERIN.

Guinevere is mine!

MORGAN.

(to VALERIN) There, you see. Your claim is true.

VALERIN.

It is!

MUM.

Amazing! Funny I don't remember it at the time.

VALERIN.

I'll marry her and make her Queen of the Tangled Wood! Oooh, Mum, I'm feeling frisky!

MORGAN.

Your course is clear. You must arrive at the court of Camelot on the same day as Guinevere - and then if they don't hand her over... (Weightily) You know what must be done.

VALERIN.

YES!! (A beat) What must be done?

MORGAN.

You must take her away by force. Kidnap her!

VALERIN & MUM.

Kidnap her!

(MORGAN laughs evilly. VALERIN and MUM join in.)

MORGAN.

Off you go - to Camelot!

VALERIN & MUM.

(exiting) To Camelot!!!

Camelot the Panto Characters

  • MORGAN LE FAY
  • VALERIN THE VICIOUS
  • VALERIN’S MUM
  • KING UTHER
  • LAUGHALOT a jester
  • PRINCE ARTHUR principal boy
  • GUINEVERE principal girl
  • NELL Guinevere’s maid and confidante
  • CONNIE CLATTERBOTTOM Royal Nurse and Bear Keeper (Dame)
  • TEDDY a sweet natured bear
  • MERLIN
  • YOUNG MERLIN
  • VERY YOUNG MERLIN (a child)

Knights for Hire

  • MARLON
  • GARLON THE INVISIBLE KNIGHT (Heard but never seen!)
  • NILREM Merlin’s alter ego. (Male or Female. Cameo part.)
  • TALKING CLOCK (Male or Female. Cameo part.)
  • BISHOP (Small speaking part)

The Evil Sisterhood (Small Parts)

  • GLITONEA
  • THITIS
  • MORGAUSE
  • MARONOE
  • MAZOE
  • GLITON
  • TYRONOE
  • CHORUS as Servants, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court, Knights, Evil Sisters etc etc.

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