Dick Whittington Script Excerpt

Dick and Alice are falling in love and King Rat uses Idle Jack's jealousy to further his evil schemes.

JACK.

Aah! Who are you? Are you King Rat?

KING R.

Whatever makes you wonder that?

JACK.

Your pointy nose and big long tail?

KING R.

It’s true I am an alpha male,
But I am here to do you right.

JACK.

Then promise me that you won’t bite!

KING R.

Your feral godfather am I.

JACK.

You are?

KING R.

I am.

JACK.

(Aside.) He is.

KING R.

(Aside.) I lie.
I know the problems that you face.

JACK.

Of course you do, you’re on my case.

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KING R.

That Dick,

JACK.

That Dick!

KING R.

Has got to go.
So you –

JACK.

To Alice!

KING R.

Your love can show.
And happily, I have a plan.

JACK.

You do? Well done! Bravo, good rat! …I mean, ‘man’.

KING R.

Tomorrow you must swiftly act,
And from Fitzwarren’s safe extract,
The golden coins he places there.
And when that’s done, you plant them -

JACK.

Where?

KING R.

Must you always be so thick!
You plant them on your rival Dick!

JACK.

I plant them on my rival Dick?

KING R.

You plant them on your rival Dick!

JACK.

But that’s a mean and shabby trick.

KING R.

Of course it is, now listen, quick!
(Pointing) Who do you see?

JACK.

(Looking.) My rival -.

KING R.

Dick!

JACK.

There with Alice –

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KING R.

Alice and Dick!

JACK.

Dick, that Dick, he gets on my wick!

KING R.

Side by side with your fav’rite chick!
Chittity chat, look at them click!

JACK.

Oh stop it please, I’m feeling sick!

KING R.

Then pay attention to my shtick!

(KING RAT makes a magic pass and JACK is hypnotised. MUSIC.)

I have you now within my thrall,
You will not deviate at all.
Tomorrow you will do the deed,
And Dick will get the boot!

JACK.

(Dopily) Agreed.