“Perfect, Proper Panto”
The Times
MOTHER GOOSE PANTOMIME SCRIPT
A thoroughly modern panto script with a heart and eggs of gold – and if your regular Panto Dame hasn’t yet played Mother Goose, then Ben’s version should definitely be on their bucket list!
A wintery Scandi setting gives a delightful snowy feel. The Baddie is the Wicked Troll, Smorg – and Mother Goose seeks the good looks she craves in the Bog of Beauty…
There is a wonderfully fresh feel to the routines, including a Haunted Hunting Cabin with standout comic opportunities for Mother Goose and some lovely cameo roles.
Additionally, there are some delightful and hilarious cameos for children.
CAST SIZE: 9 Characters, plus 5 Children’s Cameo Roles, plus Chorus Etc.
RUN TIME: 2 hrs plus interval.
“My favourite part was when the troll said - Bogfarts!”
Harry Stanborough (Age 7) at Shinfield Players Theatre. (He also said it was “Awesome.”)
EXERPT - MOTHER GOOSE PANTO SCRIPT
MG:
SVEN:
FREYA:
MG:
FREYA:
MG:
SVEN:
CLOCK:
MG:
CLOCK:
Maybe we should find somewhere else.
Did that just happen…?
(Clock doors fly open again.)
Mother Goose, her daughter Freya and our Principal Boy, Sven have crashed their balloon in the mountains. Fortunately, they have found a Hunting Cabin.
Loud storm noises etc…
Lucky we found this hunting cabin!
Absolutely!
I’m freezing! (Shuts door, wind immediately abates.)
That’s better. Isn’t it this a sweet little place! (Reads framed quotation.)
“Beware all who enter; you have much to fear,
For only wicked trolls are welcome here!”
Charming! I’ve had enough of trolls to last me a lifetime!
Maybe we should! (Opens door. Roaring wind noises and she is deluged with snow. Shuts door, wind immediately ceases as before.) On the other hand, maybe not.
I suppose we’ll just have to make the best of it.
(The doors of the cuckoo clock fly open, revealing a face.)
Yes, you will! Now go to bed, it’s half past ten! (Doors shut.)
Yes, it did! (Doors shut.)
MG:
Blimey.
CLOCK:
MG:
CLOCK:
MG:
FREYA:
SVEN:
MG:
SVEN:
MG:
FREYA:
MG:
FREYA:
MG:
SVEN:
MG:
SVEN:
MG:
SVEN:
MG:
SVEN:
MG & F:
SVEN:
MG:
SVEN:
FREYA:
SVEN:
FREYA:
SVEN:
F & MG:
MG:
F & S:
MG:
CLOCK:
MG:
CLOCK:
(Doors open) I forgot –
What?
(grumpily) Cuckoo! (Doors shut.)
And cuckoo to you too.
Maybe, we’d better do what s/he says.
I guess so.
Hang on, hang on! There’s only one bed!
(shocked) Mrs Goose, I wasn’t suggesting that Freya and –
Nevermind. It’s been a long day, and we all need to get some rest.
(getting into bed) Yes, let’s. I’m exhausted.
Yes… Shall I take my boots off?
Probably best if you leave them on.
You’re right. (Clambers into bed.) Shove up, Freya. Oooh, that’s better… Jump in, Sven!
Right. (Hesitates.)
Well, come on, then.
Right. Yes, of course. (Gingerly gets into bed.)
(sighs contentedly) Isn’t this cosy! Freya…? Freya? Goodness, she’s already asleep.
Is she?
Goodnight, Sven. I shall sleep like a log tonight. Let me know if I snore. (Yawns, shuts eyes and almost immediately snores.)
(SVEN remains rigidly awake…
MG pulls SVEN toward her. Tentatively, he puts her arm back. The process is repeated.)
(Chuckling and sleep talking) Oh, you big tease!
(MG snuggles into SVEN with a vice like grip. He struggles vainly and finally cries out.)
Mrs Goose! Mrs Goose!
(MG and FREYA both wake up.)
(panicky) What?!! What?!! What is it?!!
I, er, I… You asked me to tell you if you were snoring.
Was I?
Yes.
Is that all? You don’t have to scream the place down, Sven.
No... I realise that… Sorry.
So, can we all go back to sleep?
Yes, of course… Goodnight.
Goodnight.
(The three settle down and both SVEN and FREYA are soon asleep. MG remains awake…)
(whispering) Freya…? Sven…? Are you asleep? I’m wide awake now. Oh, well…I’ll try counting sheep. One, two, three etc….
(Slowly the Moose’s tongue (arm in long pink sock) descends and pulls off her hat, which it throws on to the bed.)
(Jumping out of bed.) Aaaah! This isn’t happening! Tell me this isn’t happening!
(waking) What is it? What is it?
The moose! It took my hat.
(Doors fly open.) Well, tell it not to! And go back to sleep! Don’t you realise it’s eleven o’clock!
But it was only half past ten a minute ago.
It’s eleven o’clock, when I say it’s eleven o’clock!! (Shuts doors and immediately reopens them.) Cuckoo! (Shuts doors.)
MG:
FREYA:
MG:
SVEN:
MG:
MOOSE:
MG:
This place gives me the serious creeps. I wonder if the weather’s got any better? (Opens door and receives a face full of snow. Furious wind noises. Shuts door. Noises cease.) That’ll be a no, then.
I guess we’ll just have to stay here.
I suppose you’re right. Well, let’s all go back to bed.
(courteously getting out of bed to allow MG past) Mrs Goose.
(climbing in) Thank you, Sven…But get back in, dear. I feel safer when I’m surrounded!
(SVEN gets back in.)
That’s right. Everything’s going to be fine. We’ve just had a bit of a day, that’s all. And everything that possibly could happen has already happened! (To Moose, as she puts on her hat.) And don’t take my hat off again!
No, of course not.
Thank you…. WHAT?!!!! Freya! The mmmmoose SPOKE!
LIST OF CHARACTERS
-
Smorg (A Wicked Troll)
-
Fairy Aurora (Fairy of the North)
-
Mother Goose (Dame)
-
Freya Goose (Mother Goose’s Daughter. Principal Girl)
-
Heidi the Goose
-
Baron Von Rumpensmakka (The Baddie)
-
Gonk (The Baron’s Henchman)
-
Sven (The Baron’s Nephew. Principal Boy)
-
The Grand High Snow Goose
-
Cuckoo Clock (Cameo Role)
-
Boss Snowman (Cameo Role)
-
Snowmen 1, 2 & 3 (Cameo Roles)
-
Chorus as Geese, Trolls, Baby Trolls, Snowmen, Guard Geese. Etc.
LIST OF SCENES
PART 1.
PROLOGUE.
SCENE 1. Mother Goose’s Goosery
SCENE 2. Outside the Goosery
SCENE 3. Mother Goose’s Parlour
SCENE 4. On the Way to the Bog of Beauty
SCENE 5. The Bog of Beauty
PART 2.
SCENE 6. Back in the Village
SCENE 7. Somewhere Else Back in the Village
SCENE 8. The Flight of Goose Force One
SCENE 9. Back Again Somewhere Else in the Village
SCENE 10. The Haunted Hunting Cabin
SCENE 11. The Mountains
SCENE 12. The Palace of Light on Magic Mountain
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