Cinderella (Version 1) Excerpt

The Ugly Sisters are lost and have been chased by huge spiders in the wood. Fortunately, they have now found Buttons, who has a map. There is a simple cut-out tree piece on stage...

BUTTONS.

OK, OK, it's not so dark now and the horrible spiders won't want to come out. Now, just let go of me and grab hold of the map. Then we can check the route.

BERYL.

(Relinquishing his arm and taking hold of the map.) Alright then, but I never realised you had such big arm muscles.

CHERYL.

(Also relinquishing his arm and taking hold of the other side of the map.) Me neither, like a gorilla!

BUTTONS.

Thank you. Now, we're here.

BOTH.

Here.

BUTTONS.

And we need to follow the permitted public path.

BOTH.

The permitted public path!

BUTTONS.

Which is the pretty primrose path, past the pair of prickly pines, the plain planes and the pleasing poplars.

BERYL.

What if we go the other way instead?

BUTTONS.

No, we need to take the permitted public path.

CHERYL.

The pretty primrose path!

BUTTONS.

Exactly. The pretty primrose path, past the pair of prickly pines, the plain planes -

ALL.

And the pleasing poplars.

BERYL.

And what then?

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BUTTONS.

We pass by the precipice peering into the perilous pit and peel off at the plishy plashy puddles by the Piddle.

BERYL.

The Piddle?

BUTTONS.

It's a river.

CHERYL.

You've lost me.

BUTTONS.

Look, it's simple.

(Whilst BUTTONS is speaking, an arm {arm 1} disguised as a tree branch comes out of one of the holes in the tree, flexes and strokes CHERYL'S shoulder. She preens herself delightedly.)

The permitted public path is the pretty primrose path, past the pair of prickly pines, the plain planes and the pleasing poplars - passing by the precipice peering into the perilous pit and peeling off at the plishy plashy puddles by the Piddle!

CHERYL.

Oh, Buttons - you naughty, naughty boy!

BUTTONS.

Eh?

BERYL.

Can you just take us through that again?

BUTTONS.

Very well.

(A second arm {arm 2} comes out of the other hole in the tree. It flexes and strokes BERYL'S shoulder. She purrs delightedly into BUTTONS' face.)

The permitted public path is the pretty primrose path, past the pair of prickly pines, the plain planes and the pleasing poplars - passing by the precipice peering into the perilous pit - what are you doing?

BERYL.

Oh, Buttons - you're almost too naughty to mention!

BUTTONS.

Look, can we please just concentrate on the map!

CHERYL.

(Happily) Yes, of course.

BERYL.

Anything!

BUTTONS.

Thank you.

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BERYL.

Lover boy!

(Arm 1 flexes and walks its fingers across CHERYL'S shoulder. She nestles in to what she believes to be BUTTON'S arm.)

BUTTONS.

I've forgotten where we are now.

CHERYL.

(Throatily) Just there.

BUTTONS.

Right

CHERYL.

By the pretty, pretty primroses. Oh, Buttons! (She puts her head on his shoulder.)

BUTTONS.

Stop it, will you!

CHERYL.

Don't worry, Buttons, a nod's as good as a wink to me!

BUTTONS.

Look, both of you. Let's just concentrate. We're all clear that this is the permitted public path!

(Arm 2 flexes and walks its fingers along BERYL'S shoulder. Her purring becomes demented.)

It's the pretty primrose path, past the pair of -

BERYL.

Oh, Buttons, you ANIMAL! Is there a permitted private path?!