JACK AND THE BEANSTALK SCRIPT

A sparky principal boy and girl, together with a raft of refreshingly novel takes on established comedic routines guarantee that your audience will love this show. There is a very funny giant, lots of work for the Chorus and the dancing tree moment could be straight out of Morecambe and Wise!

3F, 5 M, PLUS GIANT, DAISY THE COW AND CHORUS ETC. 5 MAIN SETS, 2 FRONTCLOTHS/CURTAINS

Click here to request a free reading copy of the full script

JACK AND THE BEANSTALK EXCERPT

Princess Demelza is discovered in the Giant's Kitchen. She is in a gilded cage, or imprisoned in some way. She sings a sad song... Slimeball enters.

SLIME.

Hello again, Miss Demelza!  Lovely song, lovely sentiment. Shame it’s just a lot of old tosh.

PRINCESS.

Go boil your head!

SLIME.

I'd sooner grill your toes. But never mind, I just thought you'd like to know that lover boy is on his way.

GIANT.

(off) Fee Fi Fo Fum!
I smell the blood of an Englishman,
Be he alive, or be he dead,
I’ll grind his bones
To make my bread!

SLIME.

Here he is, the blushing groom!

 

(The GIANT enters.)

GIANT.

Slimeball! Where’s that cow you got me. I’m hungry!

SLIME.

She’s just in the larder.

PRINCESS.

Daisy’s in the larder?!

SLIME.

We’ve been fattening her up for you.

GIANT.

Not too fat. I wanna look good for my little wifey to be.

CLICK HERE to request a free reading copy of the full script.

   

PRINCESS.

I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man in the history of the world!

GIANT.

But I love you, Demelza!

PRINCESS.

You’ve never even met me before.

GIANT. 

But I’ve met you in my dreams.

PRINCESS.

How disgusting!

 

(Short NUMBER for GIANT, with grotesque soul dancing.)

GIANT.

There, Baby. Now do you see it was meant to be?

PRINCESS.

No, I do not!

SLIME.

Now, I call that ungrateful!

GIANT.

Not to worry. I’ll marry her anyway – and if it don’t work out - she’ll make a very tasty snack. Where’s Hetty?

SLIME.

(picks up a hen sitting in a basket) Here she is. Your little treasure.

GIANT.

Lay a golden egg for Daddy, Hetty!

 

(SOUND EFFECT. Hen cackles ending with a little whoop.)

SLIME.

(holding up golden egg) One a day, regular as clockwork.

GIANT.

Give it to Demelza as a little prezzie from me. (Goes to sit at his table.)

SLIME.

(handing egg to PRINCESS) Isn’t he the perfect gentleman?

CLICK HERE to request a free reading copy of the full script.

   

GIANT.

Shut your face, you grovelling little toad. And put Hetty back on the table. Where’s that intruder you told me about. Have you caught him yet?

SLIME.

Er, not quite.

GIANT.

Not quite? Well, get after him you dim witted slug!

SLIME.

One thousand excuse me’s; I’ll get on to it straightaway. (Exits.)

GIANT.

This is the life, eh? Me in the kitchen and you in your little cage.

PRINCESS.

I’m not speaking to you.

GIANT.

You just did. I’ve got the key right here, baby. (Pats tummy. Large keys are on his belt.) This is my other special treasure. My magic harp. (Picks it up. SOUND effect. The harp plays.)

See? Isn’t it pretty? (Yawns.) I like music. It always makes me sleepy. (Puts down harp which stops playing.) I might just have – (Yawns again.) a little nap. (Falls asleep and snores gently.)

Want to read more?

Request a free reading copy of the full Jack and the Beanstalk pantomime script now!

Please note this offer is only available to individuals representing Societies, Theatres or Groups.

We will not supply your name or details to any other party.

Please use the form below. (*= Required)


*Your Name
*Pantomime Title(s)
*Email Address
*Name of Society
Message  

 

TERMS AND CONDITIONS

The reading copy is for review only and possession does not convey any rights for performance. A licence must be obtained prior to the start of rehearsals and the appropriate royalty paid, before any public or private performance. No scripts should be reproduced either in whole or in part without written permission to do so.

The wittiest and most original writer working in pantomime today.